I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's just like the Real World with babies
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize