Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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