Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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