U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
