we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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