I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My dick has a subreddit
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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