Porn is love you can see.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
