i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
