Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
