your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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