just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
