you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
