I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
