Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
