ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
