David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
