dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
