it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
