I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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