wat bout pragnant strippers??
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
