hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
