Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
