i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
