I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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