yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the day after is always just damage control
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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