I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
