I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
