Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
