I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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