I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
