I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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