drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
