he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
