Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
