He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
