At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
