It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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