Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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