When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize