This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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