I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
