I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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