and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
