Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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