and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
