I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize