Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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