So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
