I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
