I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
