love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize