I want to have your abortion
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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