She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize