I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
