it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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