I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
