then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
