The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
did you just send me my own nude
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
