I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
