no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
