I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize