this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
